The Homeschool Journey

"Working with Anxious, Nervous and Depressed Children"

(yet another article gleaned from my yahoo group Waldorf_At_Home - again, it has been slightly edited)

I have been reading a wonderful book recently which deals with issues around the senses, movement, balance etc.  It is called "Working with Anxious, Nervous and Depressed Children" (and should have had a better title) by Henning Kohler, an anthroposophical doctor and educational consultant in Germany. It is a wonderful, wonderful book and it's main thrust is that these "issues" which are becoming more and more prevalent in our modern society, are due to a complete lack of understanding of the spiritual nature of the human being and of the spiritual understanding and orientation we must take toward children. He says that the state of children in our world is a barometer measuring the state of spirituality in our society - in other words, we're in pretty bad shape.One of the things he talk about is warmth.

 

Now, I can't go into it all here - and I touch on things like this in my "Joyful Movement" book - but by warmth, he means several things. On an obvious level, he means that modern people tend to underdress their tiny children - one rarely sees little ones with their heads covered, for instance - and really, until they are about 3, it should be covered most of the time. Something interesting to think about in this connection is that the head is a place of spirtual connection (thus the shaved heads of monks and the covered heads of Jewish women - and yalmulkes for men). So there's something about gently "keeping the spirit in" when covering the head.

 

So what's the connection here between warmth and spirit? Kohler talks about the need for the body to be warm enough for the soul to incarnate into the body properly (ok - how many of you have I just lost? - c'mon - if you're going to deal deeply with Waldorf - and therefore have even just a peek at anthroposophy - then you'll have to get used to all this!). And what he talks about is that early learning cools the body too much. He talks about how thoughts are cool - how the very act of
thinking is a cooling activity - which is, of course, appropriate. We want our thoughts to be rational, calm and cool. But, that's for adults and older children. He says that the effect of early intellectualism on little ones is that this cooling permeates the body, thus making it difficult for the soul to incarnate properly thus leading to many of the "issues" we see in so many children.

 

Interesting, eh? And don't we all know that so many of our children with "issues" are superbright, intellectually advanced?

 

So I give this to you all, not in the spirit of trying to make anyone feel bad - but to offer a new possibility to add to our knowledge of what's going on with modern children. And I should also hasten to add that, as Kohler emphasises, love is the most important key is helping children with "issues" (by which he means a love warmed by knowledge and which has the strength and clarity to act) and that therefore parents are in a wonderful position to really help their child heal if s/he demonstrates problems. This kind of deep, clear and knowledgeable love is, says Kohler, the only way that true healing can be found.  Further, Kohler gently challenges us to speak to our child's guardian angel, to seek spiritual guidance in the quest to understand our difficult or hurting child.

 

Kohler's book is addressed to parents as well as to teachers and therapists. It may come as a shock to those readers who know nothing of the deeper aspects of Waldorf, but it is not a particulary difficult read. I would also strongly suggest that anyone wishing to learn more about the Waldorf perspective on children's "issues" (I've got to come up with a better term!) get ahold of Daena Ross' cds on the 12 senses (Rahima Baldwin sells them - go to her website at www.waldorfinthehome.com).

 

 

Discipline Questions

(this entry has been adapted from my Waldorf_At_Home yahoo group)

The topic of discipline in Waldorf circles can seem elusive - this is mainly because discipline as such is rarely talked about. Rather, discipline is understood as something which arises quite naturally out of a right understanding of children and of  the ability of the adult - whether parent or teacher - to create the forms necessary to support the growing child. With a right understanding and right forms, discipline "problems" rarely, if ever, arise.

 

Now, don't get me wrong - this isn't to say everything flows perfectly once the above is achieved - but, honest to god, in my many, many years of experience in and out of Waldorf schools with 100's of children,  I know that this really is so. If one has a picture of discipline as a right relationship between adult and child, then, although children will certainly test, push limits and do all the other wonderful things they must do to understand the world, it just isn't a problem.

 

So what am I talking about? Well, number one issue to address is the inner work of the adults involved - and for homeschoolers, that's us parents. What unresolved issues do we have, what buttons do we hide which our children always find? How are we about issues like anger, control, loss, spontaneity, routine? What is the picture we carry of the growing child - and not just of our individual son or daughter? What role do we see as the mother's role?

 

I believe absolutely 100% that parents need to be really clear in how they understand their roles as parents and as teachers and what they understand the developing child needs. I think parents need to understand the importance of how they create their family rhythms - or what the consequences are of not doing this. Is it really so important to take the baby out past his bedtime so I can go to that meeting?  Is it pushing my child's limits to take him to the zoo before we go out tonight for a meal? Who says 3 year olds should be expected to be able to join in Circle Time at a nursery or coop meeting? Can a 6 year old really be expected to keep his room clean on the basis of verbal instructions? Do the television shows my 10 year old watches have any effect on his behavior? Is my 14 year old old enough to make choices about all the important areas of her life?

 

Again - who am I - the mother or father - and who is this person, my child? What is our relationship? Are we democratic in our family - or has this child come to learn, to be within my circle of strength and compassion so he can grow within that circle, encompassed by its security until he is ready to strike out on his own and use his voice and his choices meaningfully? What is the gesture of each stage of childhood and how must I, the parent adapt and change to create that gesture and meet the needs of my growing child?

 

Do I have any answers to these questions? Oh yes, I have many (!) as those of you who have read my books, consulted with me and/or attended my workshops know! I have decided, though, in this brief (well, I meant to be brief!) e-mail, just to pose a few questions - some of which just don't occur to people. But I think by considering some of these questions, by figuring out one's own relationship to what is behind these questions, then one can start to discover what one understands 
about the basis of waldorf education.

 

Anthroposophy, Religion and Waldorf

(This was originally a message I posted on my yahoo discussion group, Waldorf_At_Home. It has been changed somewhat)

 

Anthroposophy, while not a religion, is very helpful in spiritual striving. Anthroposophy means "wisdom of the human being" and it is also often referred to as "spiritual science", a method of inquiry which is not faith based but rather provides a means for explorations of the spiritual worlds as well as one means of understanding them. Anthropsophy is not a set of beliefs - it is a tool, a useful companion on one's journey.

 

Steiner worked via anthroposophy to gain insight into the nature of spiritual hierarchies, the role of the Buddha in human development, the nature of karma and reincarnation and the importance of the Crucifixion for the development of this dear Earth Herself. One of his major tasks was to bring back the ideas of reincarnation and karma to the Christian Church - now I know this is controversial stuff and probably offends some of you.  So while I have no wish to offend, I can't think of any way else to say this than to spell it out! So take it as you will!

 

Another piece of all this is the importance of the Christ in the evolution - spiritual evolution - of humankind. Just as the Buddha brought His great gift of Compassion to humanity, the Christ brought His great gift of Love.  Via anthroposophy, Steiner also shared many insights on the great figures of Moses and of Ahura Mazda.

 

So Christ does figure in anthroposophy - and some people get put off because of this (either because they are Christian with a very different picture of the Christ or because they stand in another religion or, of course because they are atheists). But the point is (and again, I'm sure this will offend some - apologies again - not for what I say, but for causing offense) that the Christ is, like the Buddha and so on, for everyone.

 

There are, at present, impulses to bring an anthroposophical understanding to religions other than Christianity - Islam and Buddhism come to mind. Judaism is, as some might imagine, a bit more problematic - and yet, Jesiah Ben Aharon who lives/works in an anthroposophical kibbutz and is involved with the Waldorf movement in Israel said during a lecture he gave here several years ago, he and other secular Jews he knew found, through anthroposophy, that they could have a deeper appreciation of and find a new connection to Judaism.

 

Lastly, there are many pagans and others who have an earth based or possibly eclectic spirituality/religious life who can often relate to anthroposophy - though sometimes having difficulty with the presence of the Christ -  because of the great emphasis on the spiritual Being of the Earth Herself (oops - lost a few people again!). The Being of Isis-Sophia plays an important role in human development and Steiner had much to say about Her.

 

In terms of the relationship between Waldorf and anthroposophy - one can think of Waldorf being the application of anthroposphy as applied to the education of children, just as biodynamics is the application of anthroposophy as applied to gardening/agriculture. So it is really not possible to separate anthroposophy from Waldorf education at essence. But again, each individual if obviously free to decide how s/he works with this and how s/he defines that relationship. My suggestion is for those people who have more than a passing interest in Waldorf to take some time to explore anthroposophy - not necessarily because they wish to work with it on their own spiritual journeys but because they will then at least have some idea of the foundations of Waldorf education.

 

Anyone wishing to embark on such an exploration is invited to go to the Resources page on the Christopherus web site to have a look at the books and links listed there.

Magazines for Little Children

(this has been adapted from a message I posted on my yahoo list, Waldorf At Home.)

 

Children under the age of 7 live wholly in their bodies - they are on the go, meeting the world bodily from the minute they get up in the morning until they go to sleep at night. Even if ones child is quiet and not as "into things" as other little ones, that child is taking in all the sense impressions around him or her. As Steiner said, the little child is like a sponge, soaking up impressions.  And as the inner forces of "self" are still very undeveloped, there is no reflection, no introspection, no filtering of what goes in or what comes out again. It is up to us as parents to help the child contain and form his desire to be active, to help him put it to healthy ways of expression (clapping games, climbing trees, helping with chores) and to guard what sense impressions he takes in - and how much.

 

When we look around at the children in our communities, we see so many that are out of control,  never stopping for a moment, not pleasant to be with, who are simply racing from one sense impression to the next. Similar in  the way in which  sugar can effect many children, an overload of sense impressions which have not come in the right way ( ie through the child's activity and experience, not merely passively received via an image)  can overload and even sicken the child. We talk a lot about sugar reactions - people hardly at all talk about sensory overload reactions.

 

So in order to bring sense impressions to our little ones in a healthy way, one needs to think about things like bodily experiences - if a child is sitting in the mud, stirring it, feeling it, smearing it, even tasting it - he is using his body to work on this sense impression that is coming to him, LEARNING in the way that is right for a child under 7 ie through his own body and activity. If he was merely looking at a picture book about mud or at a picture of another child sitting in the mud, he is left with an impression - but with no bodily experience to make it meaningful. Somehow - and this is a personal research question of mine - this kind of empty taking in of impressions which are not experienced can become almost addictive to young children. As with giving our little children too many sweet foods, this habit of  wanting more and more impressions  can create a very unhealthy situation.

 

So what's all this got to do with a magazine for little children such as Babybug?! My point is to say "does a little child really need her own magazine?" Why is this important? Does it meet a developmental need? If, as Waldorf posits, the tiny child learns best via actively exploring and experiencing her world, wouldn't it be better to skip the magazine and use the money to build a sand box or similar? Later, when she's about 9, such magazines would be great (Spider and then Cricket - the magazine group being discussed really does put out fine publications. Cobblestone for American history, Faces on cultures around the world and Footsteps for African American history/literature - all great for older children! See www.cobblestonepub.com).

 

Ok - so I have come across like some cranky, dusty old anthroposophist who is railing against one innocent (and really very nice when compared with other things available) magazine meant for little children! But those of you who know me and my work with Christopherus know that I am not cranky and crusty, that I am not a purist. But I am deeply concerned about our culture and about how our society perceives the needs of children, especially little children. If a 3 year old can be content with a pot and a wooden spoon, why on earth does he need so much "stuff" ? And why is it that people don't know this and raise children  so that they need more?!

 

Back to these magazines, the point is - if ones family life is basically very sedate and peaceful, if ones children don't watch tv or videos, if the same story is read or told to them every day or night for a week or two, if they have simple playthings and get lots of time in nature, if they get 11 to 13 hours of sleep per night (little ones, remember) and your family rhythms are well formed - then, yeah, so what?
No harm in these magazines. But if a scenario is forming where a child gets piles of different books every week from the library, watches even a couple of hours of media a week, has a hectic and/or changeable schedule and is basically becoming very demanding in terms of stimulation, of needing more (remember the sugar analogy) then I would urge caution.

 

Little Ones Who Chatter

(the following is adapted from a message I posted on my yahoo group "Waldorf-At_Home")

Fundamental to a Waldorf understanding of young children is therecognition that they are in  the imitative phase of their lives. Everything that goes on around them goes in - and usually comes right back out. We see our husband's gestures, the way the baby-sitter smiles - and the way the super-hero grimaces or leaps about in the actions of our little ones. And when they're homeschooled, there's just you for
much of the day - and that's who they're going to copy. And if, when your husband comes home (if that is how your family is arranged)  much of the important time you spend with him is in conversation, then that will make an impression on them. Talk is obviously an important  feature of adult life! And so many children at this age seem impelled to chatter constantly - with no regard to how their speech is received or, sometimes, what it is they say! It is as if that small children have no inner voice - rather, their inner life at this point in their development is too busy working with the sense impressions and materials that flow through it. There is no discernment, no filtering. The child - whether she is one who chatters a lot or  or not - acts as a conduit for all that flows in and out .

Under 7's are in the process of creating their "I", their Ego, their Self-Consciousness (if they had it already, that would mean that an important part of their early development would have been missed or rushed - so celebrate this step as much as any other!). They need you to bounce their own formations of Self off of. You are helping them create their "I", your interactions with them and how you form their days lays down a template, as it were, for them to create themselves out of. At some point, one wants this outer verbalization to internalize - few things are more irritating than a child who chatters away all day - especially if she seems to require your presence to bounce all this chatter off!

So how to cope and how to help children gently and slowly develop their internal voices - first of all, by not bringing it to their attention! Rather, by humming and singing softly, you can hold and carry them,surround them with your warm presence - but not be engaging them in ahead-to-head way, which usually only exacerbates the situation. The more you answer, the more questions you get!  Often, the child just wants to see your reaction. So if your reaction is warm interest and presence - but you are busy, engaged with the dishes or whatever it is that you do all day, then you are not ignoring them or rejecting them - but you are helping them contain their verbalizing!

Consciously cultivating silence helps, too. Don't let children interrupt stories with questions, for instance. This can become a real habit foursome children and does not encourage the kind of inner stillness and peace required to actually get an answer. If you're telling them a story and they ask questions, just put your finger to your lips, gently whisper "shushhhhh" and carry on. When you're reading to them. just say "let's just finish the story, then you can ask your question". Often - and this is the point - there is no more question at the end because it has been answered by listening (obviously, there are time when you need  to interrupt to answer something - but if you're on the ball, you can often anticipate this and weave in an answer as you read).

Our world is so noisy and our culture encourages blurting out and quick response over silent contemplation and unhurried and considered opinion. I think we need to really be aware of the seeds we sow in our little ones. They must see us having our own quiet time - by about 5 years old both my sons knew that "mommy's having some quiet" meant they were not to disturb me. At 12 and 14 they often seek quiet time to reflect when they need it. By not having background music, by bringing consciousness to our speech, then we bring health into our communications with others.