The Homeschool Journey

Playing with Language

(This article first appeared in The Homeschool Journey, December 2003)

 

I’d like to share a poem with you. I’d like you to read aloud the following poem (which many of you will probably know) and just relax into the words. For those of you whose first language is not English, don’t worry. It doesn’t matter a bit because the poem does not ‘make sense’ in English either.

 

Go on – read it out loud!

`Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
  Did gyre and gimble in the wabe:
All mimsy were the borogoves,
  And the mome raths outgrabe.

"Beware the Jabberwock, my son!
  The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!
Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun
  The frumious Bandersnatch!"

He took his vorpal sword in hand:
  Long time the manxome foe he sought --
So rested he by the Tumtum tree,
  And stood awhile in thought.

And, as in uffish thought he stood,
  The Jabberwock, with eyes of flame,
Came whiffling through the tulgey wood,
  And burbled as it came!

One, two! One, two! And through and through
  The vorpal blade went snicker-snack!
He left it dead, and with its head
  He went galumphing back.

"And, hast thou slain the Jabberwock?
  Come to my arms, my beamish boy!
O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!'
  He chortled in his joy.

`Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
  Did gyre and gimble in the wabe;
All mimsy were the borogoves,
  And the mome raths outgrabe.

 

                                     The Jabberwock, Lewis Carroll

 

 

So, what was it like to read it aloud? Did you feel silly? Was it fun? Did your five year-old run in demanding to know what you were doing? Good! Now read it to him! Play with the words. Draw them out. Exaggerate them. Fill them with meaning.

 

Now – explain to me why your (hypothetical) five year-old knows exactly what this poem is about. (And, for goodness sakes, don’t spoil it by asking her what she thinks it might mean) How does she know what it’s about?

 

With this wonderfully whimsical, outrageous, funny and preposterous poem, we adults can get a tiny little glimpse into the way children grow to understand language. The Jabberwock does not ‘make sense’ to us: but to a young child it makes as much sense as any well-written musical, poetical, image-laden piece of writing. Often with great writing, the ‘sense of it’ lies not only in its literal meaning but in its rhythms and ‘sense-sounds’ which create images in our minds.

 

When children acquire language, vocabulary and word-meaning, like grammar, are only a part of what’s going on. Young children acquire language by ‘getting a sense’ for meaning, not by literally analyzing what something means. When children are tiny, we don’t say things to them like, “Okay, this is a casserole. Can you say casserole – CASS-ER-OL. Good. It comes from the French word...” My goodness no! We just talk. We breathe life into our conversations with our children and they absorb meaning. This is how language grows and becomes part of each person and also why it’s vital to read to your child. Read to your child, read to your child! Read, read, read – way past the time he learns to read to himself. And read worthy, worthwhile books so that the images and language that penetrate his very soul are nourishing and sustaining.

 

Read that poem out again. Print it out and have a great time with it. Shout it, whisper it, dance it. Your baby will love it! Act it out. Encourage your child to draw a picture – or two or three – illustrating it. Just don’t ever, ever analyze it. Let it live, don’t put it on the dissection table!

 

Enjoy poetry with your children. We have a lovely ritual in our family, which occurs from time to time, called “Poems in Mama’s Bed”. We get in the big bed, cuddle up together, and I read my sons the same poems from the same book that we have been reading for almost ten years! The magic words of Blake, Emily Dickinson, R.L. Stevenson, William Carlos Williams and Shakespeare, amongst others, have penetrated right to the core of my children. Language, the Word, has power. Choose carefully what language you surround your growing children with and choose that which will nourish and strengthen them.

Composition - when?

Many people ask when is a child old enough/ready to write on his own. The following are some of my thoughts on this, based on a discussion with someone about her 9 year old and writing.....

 

If a child is not developmentally ready to do creative or independent writing, then asking him or her to do so can be an incredibly frustrating experience for that child. It's like people who get little ones to keep journals - how boring is it to keep writing what one had for breakfast?! A 9 year old is only just starting to separate, to stand on his own two feet - to go through that famous 9 year change spoken about in Waldorf circles.  If a child is encouraged to write too soon then he or she can wind up feeling that s/he has nothing worthwhile to say and that writing is a waste of time. How exciting it is to witness a child blossom into  a writer when she is ready!

 

By 12 or 13, the child is becoming an adolescent - is able to be somewhat reflective as she considers life and her experiences, has a stronger (and sometimes overpowering!) sense of self - it is out of this that creative writing flows. One has to be fluid in time, comfortable with living into the imagined thoughts of another, able to imagine a variety of situations, to be able to write out of oneself in a creative way - to make up stories that have substance, to imagine into different endings for characters.

 

Steiner recommended that when children begin to do their own composition at about 9 or 10 that they write about what IS. So examples of that can be simple (and some children will really go far with this) descriptions of say, a trip to the woods or a description of the cat. At 12 or 13 the child might start entering sympathetically into different historical characters (in my Roman history unit study, forinstance, I give several examples where a student could write about witnessing the murder of Julius Caesar or imagine being a soldier crossing the Alps with Hannibal etc etc).

 

By 14 or 15 the student should be able to write objectively (as I am teaching my social studies students at the Waldorf high school where I teach - I am constantly having to say to them "Your opinion is fine - but it must not be confused with facts!!") and really be comfortable working with various genres of creative writing and poetry.

 

So back to a 9 year old - I would really focus in having him copy what you write - whether it is your own well written composition or something (verses, quotations etc) from others. By doing this you are laying a firm foundation which he can then base his own future writing on. You will know when he is ready to write his own things - he will demand it!

 

A Child Who Hits

(This is a re-worked post from my yahoo group, Waldorf_At_Home. The subject was what to do with a child who hits  her siblings)

In a hitting situation - in any situation with little one - under 6/7's - one first works via imitation and redirection: "Oh my goodness!? What are those  hands doing? They have forgotten their job - come, it's time to help me wash the dishes. Let's see what those hands can do!". Positive, humorous, redirection - with a physical (active)  focus and using imitation (doing the dishes together). This will work for many children -but not all and not always.

 

I like the physical approach that N speaks of - I think this is enormously important for tinies - however (and I say this with respect, not criticism) I feel the verbal part is - well, too verbal. Too head orientated, too self reflective for the young child. I understand that by doing this N wants to empower her child to understand that she will eventually be able to control herself - I like that... but I feel that it still leaves way too much room for a strong willed, fiery or stuck child to be lost in. My experience with children  (including my extremely willful eldest son) is that the form itself is what comforts and centers the child - if redirection has not worked, then I would hold such a child, picking her up, singing or humming a verse and having some quiet somewhere else. This might escalate her anger and screaming - I would say that this is ok - perhaps she needs to have the safety of this holding time to release her anger.

Don't be scared by a child's rages - be thankful that the child can get it all out (as my husband, who used to be a homeopath says 'better out than in'). Over time she will learn to have some degree of control over  such feelings - but only, I would suggest, if she does not have to concern herself with being self reflective and only if she feels safe enough to let go - and for that most young children need the strong physical presence of the parent who is willing to "take care of things for them".

 

If the hitting continues.... you might have to keep the child very close to you all afternoon "I am sorry, sweetheart, but those hands of yours keep forgetting their job! So you will help me this afternoon to make lunch and then clean the bathroom." And do it. And keep at it. This is very tiring, I know that. But it works because what you are doing is recreating something for your child, guiding her through her difficulties and being her strong foundation to rest against as she learns how to control whatever it is in her that impels her to hit.This is a really powerful approach for a young child of  about 3 to 6 years of age.

 

In contrast to this, say for an 8 year old that hits others, I would be more firm. I would walk up to the child, kneel at his level, hold both of his hands and look him right in the eye (and wait until he will look at me if he squirms away - this is powerful stuff). I would then quietly but firmly say "We do not hit. You may not hit so and so again". And walk away. If it happens again - "You know that we do not hit in this family. You will sit on that chair and remain there while I finish cooking supper". He must stay on the chair - not isolated in his room, but near you. After a time "Ok.  You can go back to playing with your brother. Let's try again". Clear, warm, centered and in control - not, as I say repeatedly in my books, controlling - but at the helm, guiding and forming the situation - and the child.

 

Restitution is a big part of all this - for a little one who smashes things "Come, we need to clean this up." No yelling, no choices, no analyzing, no fuss. Physical activity, making things better. For an older child who took his brother's things - maybe it needs to come out of his allowance or he needs to do some of his brother's chores. No shaming, no major scene - matter-of-fact calm restitution. And then it's over with.

 

Last... forgiveness. Forgiveness of one's self as a parent, of one's child, of one's own parents and childhood.... not carrying baggage around that clouds one's own parenting. Clarity. Respect for the stage of childhood one's child is in - and not treating her as someone who is older - or someone who is younger. Respect for her as an individual as well.