The Homeschool Journey

Steiner and Breastfeeding

(Here's an excerpt from an interesting thread on my discussion forum about Steiner and breastfeeding)

 

 

Steiner never talked about things like breastfeeding per se - he talked about the development of the human being - it has been up to other people to interpret what he said and to apply it to various situations. He had many things to say which became the basis of anthroposophical medicine, curative education and, of course, Waldorf education. Out of these initiatives has come various ideas about breastfeeding, co-sleeping and other things to do with babies.

Steiner talked about the beginnings of the emergence of the "I" at about 3 years of age. This is seen by the child referring to herself as "I", usually for the first time as well as the emergence of the memory and the first whispers of separation of the child from the mother. The Madonna's Cloak now fades away.

Other than that, one can take Steiner's powerful picture of the tiny child being wholly open to the universe and being like a sponge in terms of sense impressions to judge what might be right and healthy for her. And one major piece that he talked about - and which I bang on about at regular intervals - is the great need for physical and soul warmth to ensure the child incarnates properly.

So I add these things together and when I hear something like what (List Member X) says about weaning when the child turns her head away from her, I get concerned.( To be honest, I haven't heard that one before.) It seems to me that taking this picture of the baby as a sense organ and needing soul warmth, that extended breastfeeding (ie at least up to around the child's first birthday) makes a lot of sense. And, of course, things like slings, carrying and the family bed all seem to me to be part of this. But.... there's a funny streak amongst many Waldorf early years people which frowns upon all this....

What I have heard is the idea that when the child is able to walk away from his mother, somewhere between 9 and 12 months, that this is a good time to wean. This actually affirms the observations I made when I ran early education and Mom and Toddler classes many years ago. If a baby was weaned somewhere between 10 and 14 months, it was usually no fuss and almost seemed as if the baby didn't notice. It flowed with her increasing independence and moving away from Mama. But if one delayed past that time, one was usually in for the long haul - 2, 3 or 4 years of breastfeeding. This seems to be because of the child's growing awareness of her surroundings - the breast becomes a possession the child does not easily relinquish.

Now - I make no judgments here. I weaned both my sons during this phase with no problems. This was my choice - I did not want to breastfeed any longer and this time seemed to work well for my boys. We co-slept until the eldest was about 7 - the youngest stayed in the bed until he was about 9. This seemed really important for all of us.

Some woman choose to wean earlier, some later. I think that if the woman is clear about her needs and the needs of the child and doesn't get these mixed up, that there is a wide range of "best time" to wean. Many little ones definitely need to go beyond the cut -off I mentioned. No problem.

Back to "what does Steiner think" - or, I should say more properly, what does anthroposophy suggest out of its understanding of the human being - I see 3 years of age as the major change point. Before that? I think only the mother, with her deeply attuned sense of intuition of what each of her different children needs, can say. However, there are pointers which people can miss if they don't know about them - thus I mention this 10 - 14 month phase.

Let's Hear it for Hats!

It's getting warmer outside - our subfreezing Wisconsin winter is passing into beautiful Spring days of sunshine and balmy temperatures. Neighbors I haven't seen for months have emerged from their winter dens. And children are everywhere - on bikes and skateboards, toddling after Mom, being pushed along in strollers.

 

But there aren't enough hats to be seen.

 

I am a children-need-to-wear-hats freak. Unabashadely and unashamedly so. Young children need hats - shall I say that again - perhaps louder? YOUNG CHILDREN NEED TO WEAR HATS! They need them in the winter and they need them in the Spring and Fall. And though they may not need their felted woollen wonders imported from Demark (where hat wearing by children is a national institution) in the Summer, they still need hats.

 

Why? Why the mania for hats? What new and wonderful Waldorf peculiarity have we here?

 

One issue is that young children do not have a fully developed sense for temperature - their own and that around them - until they are about 8 or 9 years old (yet another hallmark of the nine year change). Until then they are dependent on us to help them dress appropriately. And before someone gives up reading this in disgust, let me assure you all that as the mother of two hat-hating boys, I know that this is not easy. Ripping off the hat was an early acquired motor skill in both my sons - and many an outing was cut short because "if your hat isn't on, we can't stay at the park.".

 

Warmth is one of the most important of the senses and one of the most critical gifts we can give our children is to ensure that they have sufficient warmth - both in terms of physical temperature and inner soul warmth (and of course, there is an important connection between the two). Many anthroposophical doctors speak in terms of a child's body needing to be warm enough to properly receive the soul - and see a connection between insufficient warmth in some (not all!!) children and development of challenges in the autism spectrum.

 

An enormous amount of warmth leaves via the head - joggers know that and skiers know that and so though they may be scantily dressed as they grit their teeth and pursue their sport on frigid days, they will invariably wear hats. And yet on chilly days one can so often see hatted mothers carrying unhatted babies and children along! Why?!

 

So my advice is that no child under one year should ever be without a hat. The little silk/cotton blend hats are probably the best as silk is sensitive to temperature needs, keeping the child warm but not too warm. After a year, no hat inside is fine - but until that second birthday, the child  should have a hat on most of the time - if not all - when out doors. After that, one can use one's judgment - but err in favor of the child wearing a hat! And that means when the sun is strong - heads are incredibly delicate and a young child's hair is no protection against the strong rays of the sun - even on cool days.

Computers - When?

This is a rehashed post from my old Yahoo group (which has been replaced by a discussion forum). It was part of a discussion about computers and children. The following is mainly about what we did as a family.

 

We simply did not have a computer before our eldest son was 10. Our work before was different - and Christopherus did not exist. Other families need to use their computers during the day or they could not be at home with their children. This might just be something people have to live with.

In general, I believe that one must put the topic of computers into a larger context. How much does the child get to play outside? Does s/he watch tv and videos? Is s/he in a busy frantic city or in a sleepy rural setting? How healthy are general family rhythms? And, most importantly, how does the child react to the computer?

So here are some thoughts, based on what we did as a family....

* No computer at all before 10. Not even in play, not even on Mama's lap. This is an adult tool, not for young children. Treat it as you would a power tool such as a lawn mower or electric saw.

* At 10 or 11 you could get a mild computer game for your child and/or perhaps look at web sites together. Computer time not to exceed an hour a week and no use of the internet except with an adult.

* By 12, 3 hours a week of games and some time looking up specific things on the internet with you in the same room.

* By 14, 3 - 4 hours of games per week and use of typing facilities, Wikipedia and internet as needed - but no internet access on her computer. She must use yours for internet access and ask first, so you are aware of what she is doing.

*By 16 unrestricted use of the computer. She should be able to use it sensibly by now. If she wants to use chat rooms, now is the time - not before.

These kinds of rules will prove almost impossible for some people - especially if your child's social contacts seem based on computers and such. There is no easy solution to this - but you can always have strong and clear rules in your home. One thing I would certainly prohibit is any kind of handheld or virtual reality type of games run off the computer or television. I would also not allow any access to chat room until late teen years. I also do not recommend unrestricted use of the internet without a parent present until the teen is about 16.

And running through all this is the warning - observe your child! It could be that she has a healthy take it or leave it attitude toward computer use - if this is the case you are blessed and it is unlikely that use of this machine will be any big deal. BUT - such children are rare in my experience. Most get sucked in one way or another. Serious red flags should be waving for you if your child's behavior is at all effected by being on the computer. If he is listless (and yes, I said he on purpose there - this seems to effect boys more than girls), restless, out of himself, twitchy or bad tempered after using the computer - if limiting computer use results in furious rampages and tempers or tears - then you have an addictive situation on your hands and cold turkey (ie no computer at all ) might be the only solution. I am not exaggerating. Addiction has to do, for the most part, with stimulation - and the stimulation of the computer can be as powerfully negative and unhealthy for your child as if he sat down and ate a 5 pound bag of sugar or other addictive substances. In the end, the issue is about health. And, I would say categorically, that use of computers by children in no way optimizes their health. It might not be too bad - that is how my husband and I have felt about its use by our age 10+ sons - but it certainly does nothing to enhance their health. And, our sons lived on a farm with no TV and maximum once a week video until they were 13.

On Illness, Fear and Time

In the past few weeks there have been several cases of whooping cough in the town where we live. I have watched how this illness has been received in our community. And I have been dismayed by the amount of fear I have seen.

Why do parents of strong, healthy children fear whooping cough? Why do health professionals make dire warnings shrouded in gloom, causing fear and distress? Why are we too scared to step back a moment, to take stock and assess the reality of the situation?

Can whooping cough kill? Yes - but very, very rarely. Its main victims are the very old, the very young and those with a compromised immune system, like people with AIDS. Far more children get killed every year - every month - in this country in traffic related accidents than die in a decade of whooping cough. And yet the risk factor from cars is an accepted part of our lives - but the risk from an infectious disease is not.

Why not? Is it that cars and roads and school buses contribute to the everydayness of our lives and so we do not stop and think much about the risks? And might it be that an illness such as whooping cough disrupts our lives, causes chaos, makes us have to adjust? By its very foreign nature, its "otherness", disease is scary. By its ho-hum acceptability, its foundational place in our lives, the risk of injury and death from cars barely even registers in our consciousness. A few figures to chew over: in the year 2002, there were 18 deaths in the entire United States due to whooping cough - in 2000 there were 37,526 traffic related deaths (Sources: the Center for Disease Control and the US Department of Transportation).

And yet disease does not have to be viewed only as an intruder, an interloper, a stranger. It can also be viewed as a guest who carries a message. The receiving of this message might be difficult, be unpleasant. There might be pain or discomfort. But there does not have to be fear. We can learn to accept illness and to listen to the message it carries and thereby learn an enormous amount about our bodies and our very selves.

I had a serious illness about two years ago - I am unsure of the diagnosis as I decided not to go to the hospital, knowing I would accept neither intervention nor medicine. Why waste my time and the time of the doctors? Further, I knew that once I stepped onto that path, I would be surrounded by fear - and that fear was the last thing my ill body needed.

So I stayed home - and was in bed for about 6 weeks. And then I graduated to the couch for about 2 or 3 months. I had a lot of time to think and one of the things I thought about was time. Time and healing. Time to heal. Healing time. I thought about words like "convalescence" and I thought about how one can come across passages in books written 50 or 100 or more years ago where there are references to "he was better by the Fall" or "she took all winter to regain her health" or similar. And I was struck how no one speaks in these terms anymore. People want to get better NOW. Healing, convalescence, seems old fashioned, even dangerous.

Back to whooping cough, I wonder how much of parents’ fear has to do with the idea of a child being ill for weeks, even months. This is not something we come across these days and one might even think that such a long time being ill is somehow neglectful. And who has time these days to nurse a child back to health? Quarantine is inconvenient - staying home to keep a baby away from others who might be ill is a nuisance. Our lives are so busy, so stretched it can seem inconceivable to be able to do such things.

Antibiotics and much of conventional medicine promises quick results. Like the elusive and much sought for magic bullet to cure cancer or AIDS, antibiotics promise a no fuss cure. Get your child tested, get her on antibiotics for 5 days and presto - good as new. No more disease.

And no more messenger. No time for that child and her parent to listen to what that illness has brought and to allow her body to develop the ability to heal itself. When I was able to listen to the messenger that brought my ill health, I came up with a whole new career for myself and my family, working as a consultant with Waldorf homeschoolers. It was extraordinary how this unfolded and how things fell into place. And as I healed, I was able to follow this new path. And as I followed the path, I healed.

Children can grow enormously after childhood illness, especially those involving fevers which literally burn off "stuff" and allow new physical, emotional, spiritual and intellectual capacities to flower, much in the same way a prairie fire clears room for new and healthier plant growth. As a youth worker, teacher, parent educator and parent, I can’t tell you how many times I have seen this happen.

When a child - or adult - is allowed, without fear, to grow in this way, the possibilities are boundless. Teachers recognise something new in the child that rejoins his class, colleagues and friends see shifts and changes in an adults’ patterns. A community which embraces illness without fear can grow together - and along these lines I’m afraid I don’t buy the "taking antibiotics is socially responsible" line. I see the mass and indiscriminate taking of antibiotics to be potentially socially damaging. The overuse of antibiotics in this country contributes every year to the death of hundreds - perhaps thousands - of people in hospitals and other care facilities where virulent antibiotic resistant strains of bacteria have grown and multiplied. According to Dana Ullman MPH, a respected homeopath,

Alexander Fleming, the scientist who discovered penicillin, cautioned against the overuse of antibiotics. Unless the scientific community and the general public heed his warning, Harvard professor Walter Gilbert, a Nobel prizewinner in chemistry, asserts ‘There may be a time down the road when 80% to 90% of infections will be resistant to all known antibiotics.’

Whooping cough can be a serious illness - but it is also an opportunity for growth. In healthy children and adults, with the right support of homeopathy or herbs or other health- supporting instead of illness- suppressing methods of healing, it need not be feared. Let us strive to hear - and not shoot - the messenger.

See A Homeopathic Perspective on Infectious Disease: Effective Alternatives to Antibiotics, Dana Ullman http://homeopathic.com/articles/using_h/inf_disease.php

Practical Suggestions for Sick Children

This article first appeared in the Homeschool Journey newsletter, May 2005

Here are a few things for parents to consider when their children are ill. It is based, in part, on what we do in our family, as well as on my study of anthroposophical ideas around health. The fact that my husband is a practicing homeopath has something to do with it too!

Rest, rest, rest - rest and sleep are the most important parts of the healing process. Too many parents say things like “I can’t get him to stay in bed” - well, you need to figure out how you can! Being up and about, even if it’s “only in the house” is no substitute for bed rest, especially if the child has or has had a fever. After the fever goes, the child should still be kept quiet for a day or two. Quiet, peace and bed rest are essential for the body to heal.

Have a box or a bag of interesting playthings put away for sick days. Fill it with Playdoh, buttons, wooden beads to string, an etch-a-sketch, pipe cleaners, beeswax, travel activity books, picture books... things that don’t get played with at other times.

Help being in bed be pleasant - perhaps make up a bed on the couch so the child doesn’t feel lonely. If your household is very busy it might be wiser to leave the child in her bedroom. Maybe one of the younger children can act as messenger, fetching drinks of water and books and requests for attention. Put some lavender essential oil on the pillow, keep lights dim and spend time reading aloud to the ill child.

Make sure the ill child drinks a lot, although some have a real aversion to this. See if there’s a preference for cold or hot drinks. Some children who refuse water or tea will drink lemonade or some sort of broth. Flush out the child’s system by ensuring he drinks enough.

No baths or showers for a sick child, especially if there’s an ear infection, sore throat or chest complaint. Get over this American obsession (those of you who are American!) with daily bathing - getting wet when you’re ill is not a good idea!

No TV, computer or videos for ill children. This may seem harsh because it may be “the only way” you can keep her still, but you’ll have to figure out something else. The nervous energy produced by children watching electronic media is not conducive to healing.

Here are a few homeopathic remedies for you to try. I suggest you use a 30c potency. Give one, wait 15 minutes and if there’s no change, either for better or worse, give another up to 4 doses in one hour.  If nothing happens after that wait another hour and try something else. It’s an especially good sign if the child falls asleep after the remedy.

1. Chamomilla: for teething, toothache, sore throats. Characterized by impatience, anger and fussiness - babies want to be carried, demand a toy, then throw it across the room. Often one check is red, the other pale.
   
2. Pulsatilla: sore throats, ear ache, tummy ache, especially with yellow discharges. Child is all soft and sweet and elicits sympathy in those around her. Thirstless. Likes to be wrapped up warmly in a cold room but suffers from being too warm.
   
3. Aconite: whatever the physical complaint may be, the main thing about this remedy is extreme fear late at night and paleness. Often the complaint follows time spent outside in the wind.
   
4. Belladonna: this remedy is similar to Aconite in terms of intensity and rapid onset - and sometimes fear as well - but it is characterized by redness. Often the pupils are dilated. For those of you who are breastfeeding, it’s very good for mastitis, especially is the breast is streaked with red. Pulsatilla is also often indicated for mastitis as is the following remedy:
   
5. Bryonia: think of a grumpy bear and you get a picture of the person who needs Bryonia. This is a great flu remedy, indicated when the person is grumpy, irritable, wants to be left alone and holds the sore or painful part. They have a great thirst for cold water, but at long intervals.
   
6. Gelsemium: is another flu remedy, but has a slower onset than Bryonia and is not so cranky. Aching!

A fabulous remedy to have on hand is Oscillococcinum (made by Boiron): take it at the first signs of fluishness (once the illness takes hold it doesn’t usually work).

Don’t take Tiger’s balm or anything with camphor or tea-tree in it when using homeopathy. Such substances can make the remedies inert. Store your homeopathic remedies well away from these things.

Many children like herb teas with a bit of honey when they’re ill. Chamomile is good for sleeplessness though, if one drinks too much of it, it can produce the opposite effect; peppermint or fennel for sore tummies;  valerian for headache (though I have yet to meet a child who will touch it!); echinacea for fever and sore throat; lemon balm (Melissa) is very soothing and has a pleasant taste.

If you can get it, Weleda, and possibly other anthroposophical pharmaceutical companies, make a wonderful preparation of Avena Sativa (oats). Put a few drops in water and give to anybody who is nervous, cranky or overexcited.

I could go on and on... I’ll stop here and just say that there are so many wonderful books available on herbalism, homeopathy and natural health it’s impossible to make any recommendations. I will say, though, that books on homeopathy by either Miranda Castro or Dana Ullman are very good.

Please remember, folks, that the above recommendations are just suggestions and are not a substitute for the care of a licensed medical practitioner!

Time to be Ill?

This article first appeared in the Homeschool Journey newsletter, May 2004

How do we regard illness in our families? Do we respond with an arsenal of medicines and potions, moving quickly to get rid of whatever it is that is making our child ill, or do we view illness as a time to take stock, to slow down and to trust the healing process?

I’m not saying don’t do anything when your child’s ill. What I am suggesting is that we each take a moment to scrutinize our attitude toward ill health and to ascertain whether we regard it as basically a negative thing or a positive thing. Is illness a failure of wellness, or is an opportunity for wellness to be enhanced, strengthened?

Once upon a time, children were expected to have a range of illnesses in the course of growing up and time was allowed for the healing process. One spoke of bed rest, of convalescence, of slowly regaining health. Of course, in days past, many children died during their early years - but let’s recognize that the majority of those deaths were in families stricken by poverty, overcrowding, poor nutrition and hygiene. And, of course, there were those children with conditions easily addressed nowadays, whether by conventional or alternative medicine, who were considered ‘incurable’ in earlier times.

My point is: that illness was regarded as a basic part of childhood and that there was a recognition that once health was regained, the child was stronger and healthier than he had been before he was ill. It is this point that I wish to focus on because I feel that it has been largely lost in our society.

Now, whether one thinks that vaccinations are all bad, all good, somewhere in between; and whether one stands on one side or the other on a similar spectrum with regard to antibiotics, the fact is that there is a tendency in modern pediatric medicine toward more vaccinations and increased use of antibiotics. Only in very, very recent years has mainstream medicine begun to reluctantly acknowledge the dangers of overuse of antibiotics.  But no such disquiet regarding the every-increasing cocktail of vaccinations or the unknown result of vaccines plus antibiotics plus environmental toxins exists.

What is the empirical data? What can we laypeople observe in terms of the general health of children in countries such as the United States? Do the legions of overweight, attention-disordered, allergy-ridden children assure us that we’re generally on the right track? I don’t think so.

We live in a quick fix society. We want our children healthy and we want it NOW! Got a sore throat? Take some antibiotics - zip!! It’s gone. Parents don’t have time to deal with chicken pox? Here’s a new shot - zip!! No chicken pox. Child’s restless, having problems at school? Here have a bottle of pills.

But what if repeated use of antibiotics causes other problems? What if doctors don’t know yet all there is to know about the effects of chicken pox vaccines? (and what if some do? ) What if Ritalin and other drugs - Prozac seems to be getting pretty popular amongst schoolchildren (supplied by the legit drug pushers, not necessarily the illegal ones) - cause addictions and severe problems such as an increased risk of suicide.

Raising a child takes time. There are no shortcuts. Children need time to be children and, in order to be children, they need uninterrupted time to play, create, explore, daydream - to just be. They also need time to sleep and they need time to heal when they are ill. When parents are stressed, overworked and rushed these ‘child needs’ are, at best, an inconvenience. At worst, they are problems that need fixing.

Important things happen to a child when she is ill. One way of understanding this is appreciating that the child’s immune system gets a workout. If fevers and infections, for instance, are always suppressed, then the immune system doesn’t get a chance to go into action, to be strengthened.

This doesn’t mean don’t do anything! It means don’t suppress illness. It means find gentle ways to support the child’s healing process and to help strengthen him. And, above all, it means to make time for children to be ill and to heal.

One of the greatest gifts that Waldorf education gives to us parents is an understanding of children which is, in essence, a health-enhancing one. Waldorf education is concerned with the child’s health, whether it be physical, emotional or mental. The gentle unfolding of the young child and the insistence that children not be rushed through childhood is or prime importance. Especially in the early years, before the child turns seven, the emphasis is on strengthening and enhancing the child’s growth: this is why early intellectualism is frowned upon. By turning attention to intellectual development, energy which should be going into a healthy physical development is diverted. The result is a weakening of the child, though this may not be apparent until later in adult life.

Having said that, I can appear to slide into a ‘well, it’s too late now’ approach, one which I actually reject. It’s never too late and one can take the time to remediate a child’s early intellectualism in later years. Artistic activity, free creative play, rhythmic body movement (such as traditional children’s games) are all helpful. Key is the phrase taking the time, for it’s all too easy to rush children through their childhoods, gearing them up for the rat race which our society calls normal.

While considering this aspect of time, let us remember the rhythmic quality which is essential to a healthy relationship to time. Breathing in, breathing out, now active, now receptive - a healthy rhythm sustains us. All living things on this Earth have their own rhythms and one of our greatest tasks is to create a rhythm which nourishes our family life. As Rahima Baldwin, in You Are Your Child’s First Teacher, puts it: “One of our main tasks as parents is to bring our children into rhythm”. Patterns of sleep and wakefulness, of outer activity and inner activity, of mealtimes, chore times, and of larger, seasonal and festive rhythms create meaningful and, ultimately, healthy forms for our children.

For those interested in creating healthy rhythms in their families, especially those with younger children, I recommend Rahima Baldwin’s book as well as Shea Darien’s Seven Times the Sun. In addition, Bons Voors and Gudrun Davy have edited a wonderful book called Lifeways: Working with Family Questions. This book has many helpful chapters about creating healthy family lives and the chapters on anthroposophical ways of working with the Christian festivals will be of interest to some people.