The Homeschool Journey

Review: Living into Dying

Every once in a while one reads a book which feels, from the first page through the last, as if one has been handed a great gift. One feels honored that the author has shared her story, has even bared her soul. Such a book is Nancy Jewel Poer's Living Into Dying: A Journal of Spiritual and Practical Deathcare for Family and Community.

 

"Deathcare" - this says it all. Nancy speaks of "home deaths", comparing them in many ways to homebirths and, like homebirths, clearly recognizing with no judgment that deathcare at home is not for everyone, not for even family. But even if it is hard for one to imagine caring for a dying friend or neighbor or relative at home, the sheer joy and reverence with which Nancy describes and shares such experiences is enough to at least help one consider the possibility and to honor the choices that people like the Poers have made.

 

This book is a treasure - it is filled with gentle humor and warmth, great wisdom and humility. Nancy's great compassion and deep spiritual understanding fill one with awe as she shares personal stories and experiences and also gives sound practical advice about the legal and hands-on aspects of caring for the dying and dead. She is an anthroposophist and comes clearly from this spiritual perspective, but in the kind of welcoming way that would make anyone from any spiritual background feel she was speaking to them.

 

The book is full of photos of family members who have died and of the beautiful ceremonies and rituals she and her community created to help them cross the threshold. It is an awesome experience to look upon photos of teenagers making coffins for their grandparents and other children carefully decorating the room where the body will lie and still other pictures of young children waving as they sit on the back of a flat-top pick-up bearing their family-member off to be buried.

 

Death is a part of life but one which is still hardly acknowledged except with fear. Haven't we all been touched by death? And yet it is so often not spoken about - and certainly rarely celebrated. This book is a gift to us all as we seek to create authentic family life and relationships - and as death is part of that, this book is an invaluable guide to helping us find our own relationship to this immensely important part of the human journey, one that is not to be feared.

 

I cannot recommend this book highly enough.

Self Development as a Parent

Steiner said there were three absolutes which every teacher must undertake as part of his essential task of being a teacher: to understand child development; to strive to understand the particular children one is working with; and to work on one's own inner development. These exhortations are as relevant to us as parents and homeschoolers as they are to any teacher in a school. Perhaps they are even more relaxant to us as we are with our children all the time - and many of us are isolated, alone with the children day in and day out. Partners who work long hours can offer limited support - and they need support for the challenges they face outside the home. Homeschooling can seem a lonely and monumental task.

 

And now I am saying you have to do self development on top of all that - where to find the time?!

 

But that is not the kind of self development I am talking about. I am not talking about retreats  or long hours journaling or looking inward. I am not necessarily talking about set times to pray or meditate - though the rejuvenating effects of both these activities makes them not just a luxury - just one more thing to do - but a lifeline akin to breathing! The kind of inner work I am talking about is that which takes place everyday right in the midst of the busiest of busy families. What greater work than to do one's own inner work while changing a diaper, washing the dishes or clearing the dinner room for the fourth time today?

 

I am reminded of a wonderful article I read in Mothering magazine - must have been a good 15 years ago. It was about breastfeeding as meditation, as a time to give oneself up to the needs of another human being and to the moment. To wake in the night and pick up a crying baby or turn to the baby in a family bed is to be in the moment and to surrender. To be able to just give to that baby and be there for her is to learn one of the greatest lessons any human being can learn - that of sacrifice.

 

Sacrifice is not popular these days. You don't read articles in conventional women's magazines about sacrifice - if it is mentioned, it is synonymous with being a doormat, a drudge, an old fashioned and unfulfilled woman. But to truly sacrifice not out of guilt or coercion but out of a free and considered choice is one of the greatest gifts we can give another human being and to ourselves. Only those who are truly standing in their own sense of "I" can sacrifice - anything less is indeed being a doormat. This is something that is so often poorly understood. But I think that most of us can tell the difference when we tune into what we truly feel inside - is this sacrifice given freely or is it done out of guilt? If it is the former, one is left with a feeling of satisfaction and ease. If it is the latter, one is left with a feeling of resentment.

 

There are so many opportunities to make sacrifices as mothers and homeschoolers - giving up a second income, living more frugally, being "on call" all the time - these are opportunities for sacrifice. But they are also opportunities to act not from our center, but from guilt and then resentment. How to cultivate the former and avoid the latter?

 

Many of you will seek answers to questions such as these through your spiritual/religious life. Connection to the Source is a powerful way to ensure one is able to, if not actually walk the desired path, to at least seek where it lies. Working with compassion and forgiveness (especially of oneself!!) and with empathy are powerful tools. Seeking balance - between family and the rest of the world; between one's self and others; between rigidity and chaos; is a daily task, a daily practice. Working out what is one's own stuff and what is one's children's - no further work can be achieved without beginning right there. Looking inside and trying to understand when one acts from fear or anger - and why? Where does it come from - what are the patterns, the ruts, the broken records?

 

And perhaps most importantly, as one warily steps forward on this journey, is to realize that it is the journey itself that is the most important thing of all. The goal is to live a life as well as one can - but it is the journey itself which becomes the goal. Never give up - forgive, forgive, forgive, forgive - and because I know I cannot say this too often - forgive yourself more than you think you possibly can. Be gentle - on yourself. Nothing cannot be forgiven and transformed or redeemed - only our own guilt and stubborn refusal to let go and breathe stands in the way.

 

I am offering a shared exploration of Self Development as a Parent on the Waldorf at Home discussion Forum starting 11 June 2007. I have pulled the ideas for this from a number of sources, mainly anthroposophical. But anyone - from any (or no) religious or spiritual background is most welcome. Indeed, my hope is that people will share their Muslim, Buddhist, Jewish, Christian or other practices which help them in their own inner work. And one certainly does not need to be versed in anthroposophy to join, either - I just want to be clear where the source of much of my own inspiration lies.

 

Anyway..... to find out the details of how this exploration will be conducted, please go to the Forum, to the Christopherus News sub forum which is open to the public. I hope many of you will join us in this very important work - and lurkers are always welcome!

Fantasy and Imagination

(another message taken from my yahoo group Waldorf_At_Home and reworked slightly...)

When working with questions around the existence of fairies, I guess it all depends on how one views the world, all of Creation and the powers that work within it. One could, as some suggest,
say that fairies live only in the imagination. One could also think of such Beings as an aspect of God's working through the world - that they are real in that they are expression of God, just as angels are another kind of spiritual being.  And, from an anthroposophical point of view, "imagination" is exactly what one needs to "see" and experience such beings: for an anthroposophist, imagination is not synonymous with fantasy or make-believe - it is a faculty which can give us insights into the world. But to use it properly one must be disciplined and learn
how to use it. It is a "higher faculty" which Steiner said all human beings have the capacity to use should they wish.

 

Another point is that, from a Waldorf point of view, children are so recently arrived from the spiritual worlds, that their faculties for relating to spiritual beings are often still intact, have not yet been dulled by our rampant materialism. So when we allow for this interaction, we are honoring where they are at, developmentally. It is not about adult agendas of a certain kind of spirituality!

 

If one looks closely at the Waldorf curriculum, one sees how it mirrors the child's changing relationship to the spiritual worlds and that this in turn mirrors the human being's changing relationship to the spiritual worlds over long historical periods: the young child is in the "nature spirits" phase of development, the third grader needs to find a relationship to God's Law (Old Testament stories), the Fourth Grader is further developing his sense of right and wrong and the ambiguities of this (4th grade Norse myths) on through the mechanistic anti-spiritualism of the 19th century, studied when the child is at the threshold of adolescence, when s/he needs to make his own relationship to the world and to God.

 

So, from a Waldorf point of view, encouraging children to "see" fairies and such is not lying, is not make-believe. It is a path of encouraging them to imaginatively enter into the world, beyond the boundary of what is discernible on the ordinary level. The Christianity I espouse allows for this: seeing that God's Creation is infinitely wondrous, that Spirit is everywhere - but that human beings can also know and experience this Spiritual world. If this goes against your beliefs, then I guess you'll just have to leave it to the realm of  "just play".

 

 

Anthroposophy, Religion and Waldorf

(This was originally a message I posted on my yahoo discussion group, Waldorf_At_Home. It has been changed somewhat)

 

Anthroposophy, while not a religion, is very helpful in spiritual striving. Anthroposophy means "wisdom of the human being" and it is also often referred to as "spiritual science", a method of inquiry which is not faith based but rather provides a means for explorations of the spiritual worlds as well as one means of understanding them. Anthropsophy is not a set of beliefs - it is a tool, a useful companion on one's journey.

 

Steiner worked via anthroposophy to gain insight into the nature of spiritual hierarchies, the role of the Buddha in human development, the nature of karma and reincarnation and the importance of the Crucifixion for the development of this dear Earth Herself. One of his major tasks was to bring back the ideas of reincarnation and karma to the Christian Church - now I know this is controversial stuff and probably offends some of you.  So while I have no wish to offend, I can't think of any way else to say this than to spell it out! So take it as you will!

 

Another piece of all this is the importance of the Christ in the evolution - spiritual evolution - of humankind. Just as the Buddha brought His great gift of Compassion to humanity, the Christ brought His great gift of Love.  Via anthroposophy, Steiner also shared many insights on the great figures of Moses and of Ahura Mazda.

 

So Christ does figure in anthroposophy - and some people get put off because of this (either because they are Christian with a very different picture of the Christ or because they stand in another religion or, of course because they are atheists). But the point is (and again, I'm sure this will offend some - apologies again - not for what I say, but for causing offense) that the Christ is, like the Buddha and so on, for everyone.

 

There are, at present, impulses to bring an anthroposophical understanding to religions other than Christianity - Islam and Buddhism come to mind. Judaism is, as some might imagine, a bit more problematic - and yet, Jesiah Ben Aharon who lives/works in an anthroposophical kibbutz and is involved with the Waldorf movement in Israel said during a lecture he gave here several years ago, he and other secular Jews he knew found, through anthroposophy, that they could have a deeper appreciation of and find a new connection to Judaism.

 

Lastly, there are many pagans and others who have an earth based or possibly eclectic spirituality/religious life who can often relate to anthroposophy - though sometimes having difficulty with the presence of the Christ -  because of the great emphasis on the spiritual Being of the Earth Herself (oops - lost a few people again!). The Being of Isis-Sophia plays an important role in human development and Steiner had much to say about Her.

 

In terms of the relationship between Waldorf and anthroposophy - one can think of Waldorf being the application of anthroposphy as applied to the education of children, just as biodynamics is the application of anthroposophy as applied to gardening/agriculture. So it is really not possible to separate anthroposophy from Waldorf education at essence. But again, each individual if obviously free to decide how s/he works with this and how s/he defines that relationship. My suggestion is for those people who have more than a passing interest in Waldorf to take some time to explore anthroposophy - not necessarily because they wish to work with it on their own spiritual journeys but because they will then at least have some idea of the foundations of Waldorf education.

 

Anyone wishing to embark on such an exploration is invited to go to the Resources page on the Christopherus web site to have a look at the books and links listed there.

Religion Lessons

Religion lessons do not figure in the Main Lessons curriculum (there is a specific religion lessons curriculum - but to my knowledge, only a handful of schools in this country or in the UK use it) and the Old Testament, Stories of the Saints, the Mahabahrata, or, Greek or Norse Mythologies, are not taught "as religions". Rather, they are 1) taught because at that particular point in the child's development, something in her soul resonates with these particular stories and 2) because we become better human beings when we are exposed to the many facets of the human journey. Thus, the rise of Islam and the life of the Prophet Muhammed as well as stories from the Buddha (and usually, in this country, Native American legends) are also taught.

 

A key element of Waldorf education is that there is a totality of the journey of humanity which can be both traced and understood and that this large journey is mirrored in the individual journey of each human being. This is not hierarchical in terms of value - more recent cultures are not seen as "better" - only in that they have a different relationship to the human being's core struggle toward ever greater freedom. Thus European cultures are not valued more highly than, say, Japanese or Maori cultures - but what is emphasized is the greater impulse toward human freedom. Again, the human journey takes many roads - Steiner was mainly concerned with the road toward individual freedom. This is not to deny or denigrate the great gifts and achievements of other cultures than the ones he focuses on.

 

In third grade, children are separating somewhat from their parents, their individuality is starting to express itself more strongly, they are able to accept the concept of rules, of the Law. This is why the Old Testament stories are taught - to let the children identify within their souls with the struggles that the Israelites had with accepting the Law. As any parent of a 9 year old knows, there is a lot of truth here! Later, the morality - and growing lack of it - of the Norse gods works on the soul of the 10 year old as he struggles to find his place in the world and to know right from wrong - the Fall of the Norse gods, the end of their place in the the heavens,  can be very meaningful for the child who is shedding his earlier phase of childhood, leaving the spiritual worlds behind,  and facing his own individuality. The sagas of the Indian, Persian, Egyptian and finally, Greek gods further explores the human theme of "what is my place on this earth? what is my relationship to the spiritual worlds?" As the 11 year old approaches adolescence, these questions, usually dealt with in the most shallow way in our society, are of great importance and are fed by these myths.

 

Sixth and seventh grade brings the Middle Ages on through the expansion of Europe into other parts of the world. The 12 and 13 year olds are finding a new relationship to the world - first comes the pragmatic 12 year old whose body is becoming denser and whose very musculature is changing - time to study the Romans, those most practical and pragmatic people ever! The 13 year old is striking out into the world, exploring, finding out where new worlds lie. Time to study the Renaissance as well as the relationships between peoples - time to study Muhammed and the way the Europeans and the Muslims met - and not only fought, but exchanged great ideas and brought huge change to the world. Time to study India and China - the depth and breadth of these cultures - so that when history rolls round to the European incursions here, one has a true picture of what this meant.

 

So, in Waldorf schools, history is seen as the story of human kind and thus has both mythic and "real" elements to it. I can't go into all the details here - it's just too involved and is the basis of much of anthroposophy - but suffice to say that one might also ask oneself the question "what is real and what is myth?". Anthroposophy is based on spiritual science - thus some of its facts may not be seen as such by others. I suggest one read Christoph Lindenberg's   "Teaching History: Suggested Themes for the Curriculum in Waldorf Schools" for an excellent introduction to this topic.

Nothing in the Waldorf curric is ever arbitrary, is ever without good reason.

 

Homeschoolers are, of course, free to chop and change and not use it - but if one has even slightly more than a passing interest in this form of education, it behooves one to do some study and find out why certain things are taught when they are. Then if one decides to skip something, one has some sense of its purpose in the curriculum and might choose to find substitute material. Having said that, I have been asked, for instance, if I could think of material with which to replace the Old Testament stories and I really can't. I can't think of a similar struggle in a culture which was presented with the Word, with the Law, in this way. Islam, of course, is also centered on a book, on the Word - but the way it was spread and the way it was received amongst the people was quite different, so I don't see a parallel.

 

I always encourage people to explore how they might work with Waldorf to suit their own religious/spiritual paths. If Waldorf schools can be found in Egypt, Japan, Israel, India, and Thailand, then surely we homeschoolers can also find ways to work with this form of education alongside our beliefs - and without diluting things so as to make them meaningless!