The Homeschool Journey

Candlemas

Just thinking ahead to Candlemas which is coming up soon. Some of you might be interested in this festival and those of you with second graders could incorporate a Candlemas festival into your Saints & Heroes block.

Candlemas falls on 2 February. It celebrates Brigid or Bride who is the saint of midwives and new birth. In Europe, where it originates, it marks the fact that the days are noticeably longer and in some areas of Britain, spring flowers will be starting to grow.

So this is a festival for all of you in temperate areas who may feel cheated by the lack of snow and a clear presence of King Winter! I celebrated Candlemas when we lived in England - now that I live in Wisconsin, it means less to me as there's no way that any signs of spring arrive on 2 February!

Here's what I used to do in temperate England: I would make earth candles. You can either dig little holes say around your house and then pour in wax and make earth candles, or, if your soil is sandy or it's still a bit frozen, you can put votive (night light) candles in little glass jars around your house.

If you make earth candles, you can take all the stubs and stumps of old candles you have lying around the house and melt them down in a large can over a fire - rig up a double boiler outside over a real fire for the nicest effect. Then take sticks the width of the holes that you've made and tie a wick to each (get wicks from the candle-making section of any craft shop). Carefully pour in the wax and let it harden. Light the candles once they're all set - early evening is the most effective time. If the candles disappear, it could be because your soil is too sandy - you could also line the hole with aluminum foil if that's the case.

And tell a story of Brigid who was an Irish princess who went through a well to find her destiny. She would travel about Ireland helping woman who were giving birth. Tell your child that by lighting these candles, you are helping Mother Earth birth the new spring - the candles are helping to bring her some warmth.

You could extend this festival by also making new candles - Candlemas is traditionally the time in the eastern Church of blessing new candles. And, of course, one needn't bring the Christian elements into this if this is not part of your family's spiritual/religious life.

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Mood and Main Lesson Material

Each year when the administrator at the Waldorf-ish high school where I teach part time asks me "when would work for you to teach your main lessons?" I like to sit a bit and think about what it is that I am teaching and how I can use the mood of the seasons to enhance the lessons.

 

My 10th grade zoology block works best in the spring - there are logistical issues here, too as we go hunting amongst the leaf litter for invertebrates to examine and draw. But the outward gesture of spring works really well, meeting the students enthusiasm to get outdoors and leave the long, cold Wisconsin winter behind. Zoology challenges them to meet the world in a new way and to think about the creatures they share our earth with.

 

Even more obvious is my choice of Advent to teach poetry. The classes I have taught in poetry during this season have been amazing - the spiritual reality of this time of year, of the gesture of going inward, the watchfulness, the waiting, are all palpable to the students even if they are not able to articulate this. Poetry, as a very personal and inward art, works beautifully at this time of year as each student is challenged to reach toward his or her own star and articulate her observations of her surroundings, of life - of whatever speaks to her and lends itself to poetic expression.

 

By considering the gesture and mood of the material we are presenting to our children, we can ally ourselves with powerful spiritual forces which can work through us and awaken in our children as we teach and learn. Which subjects are best during the outward moving time of the year? Which are best during the more inward and reflective time of the year? By being sensitive to such things we learn to bring our teaching in a more graceful and spirit-imbued way than if we merely scheduled things according to convenience - or give it no thought at all!

An Advent Reflection

I thought some of you might enjoy reflecting on this quote about Advent from The Rhythm of the Christian Year: Renewing the Religious Cycle of Festivals by Emil Bock, one of the founders of the Christian Community, the Church inspired by the work of Rudolf Steiner. I love the gentleness of this passage ad the image of Mary and the Earth as One.

 

During Advent-time we have to learn to greet the star. When the haze of the old year has lifted completely, space is open, the atmosphere is purified and stars begin to stream down into our earthly existence. With the starry forces, heaven now sows new life into Earth's womb. Do the snowflakes not have starry shapes? The weeks of Advent are Mother Earth's time of conception. And at Christmas, Earth becomes Mary and delivers her child. Within Earth's innermost depths a seed of light is engendered by the stars. Earth's inmost depths become the manger in which the little child sends out Light as He rises....

 

What we can learn is this: that we must reach down in our depths when we wish to tread an inner path, even as the Earth brings new life from deep in her depths. We will be in limbo, in mid air as it were, throughout our life if we do not begin from deep within. Profound concentration, quiet and devotion are required for this. Only in the manger of his innermost being can the human being turn to Mary and receive the essential Christmas gift.

Fall Festivals

If you work with the "Waldorf calendar" of festivals, then you know that these next few months are busy ones. Michaelmas, Martinmas, Advent.... Succos, harvest festivals, Channukah, Solstice and Christmas are all on the way.

 

We are currently having an in-depth converstion/study on festivals on my Waldorf at Home forum - we are looking at why celebrating festivals are such an important part of family life and how Waldorf/anthroposophical views speak to this. How does one consciously create festivals? What inner work does one do as an adult? What speaks to children?  Please consider joining us!

 

You also might find it useful to have a look at the Seasons and Festivals section of this blog - there you'll find a number of entries I have written about various festivals. To further this, you might like to also look through the Religion and Spirituality section. And we also have the music to two popular Fall festival songs on our website, I Go With My Little Lantern , Saint Martin, and A Knight and a Lady.

 

Want more? If you're after craft, song and verse ideas, then do go to the archives of my old yahoo group: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/waldorf_at_home  to find lots and lots of ideas. Though the group is closed to posts (and has been for almost a year since I launched the discussion forum) the archives remain open to anyone who is a member of the group. Search the names of the various festivals plus festivals in general and you should come up woth a treasure trove of ideas and inspiration!

Advent

In most Waldorf schools - at least those in North America, Central Europe and Britain -  a very special early Winter festival takes place for the children. This is the Advent spiral, a beautiful spiral of Light which symbolizes each individual "I" receiving his or her Light in this time of growing darkness.

 

Advent Sunday is the first of the four Sundays preceding Christmas (and if Christmas falls on a Sunday, that would be the fifth Sunday, not the fourth). Advent then is a period of time, not a single day or moment. It is a time of quiet preparation, of readying oneself to go without fear into the darkest time of year.

 

I have participated in many Advent spirals - as a child in my Waldorf school; as a teacher and parent in other Waldorf schools; in a Camphill community where we did a modified version of the Spiral; and in another anthroposophical community where we did a very special outdoor Advent spiral. I would like to share how these things are created in the hope that any family might find a way to recreated this very special ceremony with their families and perhaps with a larger community.

 

The single most important element in an Advent spiral is the mood. The right mood of the person carrying it, the mood of the children - and, most importantly of the parents, as they come into it, is absolutely essential. Every step and detail must be thought through and panned (and every mistake and disaster anticipated) so there is no hurrying, no flapping about, no hesitation, no furtive whispers exchanged ("what do we do with the apples?" "Oh no, the wax is dripping on the pine branches"). One can thus see that the participating families must be thouroughly prepared in advance for what will take place!

 

Basically, the idea is this: a large spiral created of pinegreenery and interesting branches. It is decorated with crystals, pine cones and other wintry items from Nature. In the center stands a  non wobbly stump with a flat surface - on this stands a large pillar candle, lit. Outside of the spiral someone stands witha tray with one red apple per child. The apples need to have been cored and a small candle put into each. Test out the apple candles to ensure they stand firmly - discard any which have a tendency to fall over. One adult carries the trays and hands an unlit apple candle to each child as s/he in turn comes up to the spiral.

 

The room with the spiral is dimly lit - if there are a lot of windows and you've timed this so that it is dusk when you start and dark when you finish - and by that time all the candles are lit, softly illuminating the room, you have Nature helping you create a wondrous mood.

 

Someone might be gently playing Christmas carols on a harp or lyre. Or, if that's not available, someone (an adult please) playing an alto recorder could be good. In a pinch, a few people softly humming carols can be very nice. What you don't want is lively singing! So no "Jingle Bells"!!

 

The room should be all set up first and families collect in another spece. No one can be late!!! No one can come in once you've started! Plan for this! Have everyone take off their coats and get sorted out before coming into the Spiral room.  Everything should be as quiet and peaceful as possible - the children should do their running around and shouting outside before they come into this anteroom - once in there the mood must be quiet so they can absorb what will take place in the Spiral room. Babies and toddlers can be a problem - it's harsh to say  but it's true. Having said that, if this really is done properly and if - this is a big if - the parents are fully on board and carrying the right mood in their hearts, most tiny ones are completely swept up by the reverential mood of peace and not a peep is heard. Older children can also be problematic (4 to 9 is about the optimum age for this festival). You might need to use older ones as helpers - holding the apple tray, standing to the side out of sight with the fire extinguisher, closing the door when everyone's in etc etc. You don't want clumps of giggling or sarcastic older children spoiling it! Appeal to their better nature - not by lecturing or scolding, but by giving them something to do.

 

So now everything is set and the leader opens the door to let everyone into the dimly room. Other adults in the room start to gently hum carols - or a lyre is played etc. Everyone takes their seats - hold this tightly - be like an usher, quietly showing people where to sit. You hum the carols too so as to let everyone see that this is not a time to talk.

 

Everyone is now seated. Start with someone who knows what they are doing - there is no verbal instruction, no welcome, no little speeches, no 'what shall we hum now'. Everything happens like clockwork. So the appointed child - an older one perhaps or an adult with a very small one who knows what she's doing, approaches the apple candle person and is given an apple (No choosing! You don't want some child going "which one - no I don't want that one"). She walks the spiral, slowly. She approaches the candle in the center and lights her candle. She then turns back and finds a good place to put her candle amongst the greenery.

 

If you have a large group, have the next person come up as the first is lighting her apple candle to keep things moving. If it is a small group, wait until she returns to her seat.

 

Every child gets to come up - this is a ritual for younger children who do not yet fully have their own Light and so must take from the Central Light. This is not for teens or adults. If a child is too shy to come up on her own, then it's fine for an adult or teen to accompany her. When we were in Camphill (anthroposophical intentional communities for developmentally disabled adults) we had an Advent lemniscate where two people, each with an apple candle, would walk the lemniscate and exchange their Lights in the center and then continue the path. This was felt to be appropriate for adults.

 

Once everyone has finished, sit and admire the lit candles. The room should only be lit by the candles. Continue to sing quietly. Then the leader, at the right moment, quietly opens the door for families to quietly - in silence or still singing/humming - to file out. Make sure a garish light from that room does not spoil the Spiral room. Ensure everyone is silent or humming as they get their coats on and go home. There should be no talking or running about - let the image of the Lit Spiral work on the children as they go home.

 

Once everyone is out, the leader and her helpers can extinguish the candles. No child should be present as this would spoil it for them. Collect up all the apples. I suggest you do not hand them out - maybe tomorrow people could get them - or perhaps someone will take them home and make apple sauce (don't let the children see them!). If you start to hand them out you'll inevitably get "I want that one" "That's not my candle!" etc etc which will spoil the mood.

 

You can also do this festival outside - in a wooded grove is really wonderful. But the logistics can be challenging. Use little jars for the candles, not apples or else they'll blow out. And try to incorporate a quiet reverential walk to and from the spiral - seeing a lit spiral amongst the trees is magic. And Nature will be happy to help you create the right mood if you let Her.

 

A few things to consider: make sure all the children have long hair pulled back and no dresses or skirts!! You don't want to start a fire! Have a fire extinguisher  and/or pail of sand or water nearby or else you're bound to get a jittery parent who keeps hopping up and fussing as s/he worries about fire.

 

If a child puts a candle in an awkward place - on the path itself or where it could set something alight, the leader should just quietly help the child select a new place. And one gets quite fascinating insights into one's child as they do this - do they hesitate to enter the spiral? Do they rush through or walk slowly? Do they immediately set down their apple candle or take it almost to the beginning of the spiral?  Do they even step over the spiral in a rush to be through?!

 

I hope you and you family will enjoy this very special and reverential festival!

Christmas with Older Children

Well, the holidays are over - today is Three Kings' or Epiphany. It is the day that we take down our decorations and officially bring the Christmas season to a close in our family.

 

My sons are now 12 and 14 - somehow, even more so than last Christmas, their "advanced years" have made a real change in how we celebrate the Advent - Christmas times. I didn't put out a Nativity tableau this year for one - in past years we'd start with the first week of Advent, with the Mineral Kingdom. On a corner table I'd place our dark blue cloth and carefully arrange a few select crystals and rocks. There's be only one of the four red candles on our Advent wreath lit. The following week the Plant Kingdom would join us - that was the week that we'd hang a wreath on our door and two candles would be lit on our indoor wreath.

 

By week three - especially if week four was going to be a very short week - things would really start happening - the animals would have joined the Nativity scene, three candles would have been lit and mysterious whisperings and package -rustling's would be heard from time to time. We'd start planning where the Christmas tree would go this year and all the cookies and cards and other preparations would be made during this week.

 

A few days before Christmas Eve the tree would come. Most years it came from our property - one memorable year it came from a nearby prairie restoration site near our house where pine trees are regarded as invasive. That year the tree was chopped, placed on a sled and dragged home over the snow and ice! Each year our tree sits for a day or two unadorned - then we have a very elaborate ritual on Tree Decorating Night involving music, and a very precise order of how the ornaments are placed on the tree. Over the next couple of days the presents pile grows under the tree until everything is set by the afternoon of Christmas Eve. That night we have a light meal and the stockings are hung up at bedtime.

 

The next morning Paul and I would be woken by cries of "Is it time yet?" - in a moment of brilliant inspiration many years ago, I came up with an adult-sanity preserving rule which says that stockings can only be opened on Mama and Daddy's bed - and thus if the boys wake at a horribly early hour, we'd be able to say "not yet!"

 

When they were little, one present could be opened first thing - everything else had to wait until after lunch - when we lived in England there was a half-hearted tradition of "not til after the Queen's Speech" ie after 3pm but that rule - and the Queen - got forgotten over the years.

 

So that's what our Advent to Christmas to Epiphany have been like for us. But this year I didn't bring out the Nativity scene. Somehow I no longer wanted to "make the figures appear" at night when the boys slept. We had our Advent calendar - a very grown up one of St Basil's Cathedral in Moscow - each window opened to show a different icon. Gabriel, the 12 year old, faithfully opened it each morning. Daniel is in his"bah-humbug" phase though I did catch him occasionally peering at the calendar to look at the pictures.

 

Our tree decorating ritual was different - Daniel refused to participate, saying he had too much homework to do (he's in the local Waldorf high school). Again, when it was done, he did appear to sit with us in the dark with the tree lit, admiring it. We discussed stockings. This year we are in a new house - I said to the boys "hey, you know the sky light in Daddy and my bedroom? I'm pretty sure that's where Santa comes down so I think you guys had better leave your stockings in our bedroom." They grinned in delight, scoffed, made a few rude comments about Santa - and complied. There was some brief discussion about Paul and I having our own stockings next year - Gabriel was particularly keen on that idea. On Christmas Eve they dutifully presented their stockings. And the next morning I was very amused to hear whispering outside my bedroom door - "do you think they're awake yet?". The boys ripped through their  stocking presents with delight - no sophisticated beyond belief teen/older child stuff here!

 

Our story traditions and singing round the tree evenings have changed too. Only once did we sing together - it was a spontaneous event and I don't think the boys would have cooperated had it been planned. But singing together was lovely and brought back many memories. I skipped most of our usual stories this year. The one exception was Paul's traditional read aloud of Dylan Thomas' A Child's Christmas in Wales - complete with Welsh accents. That is such a beautifully written and hiariously funny little book - and it brings back fond memories of Christmases past in Britain.

 

Today Gabriel and I will take down our Christmas lights, the wreath on the door and the tree. In years past the tree would disappear on Three Kings' Eve and then reappear on St John's Tide at the height of the summer to be burnt on a bonfire. But we are in town now, too, which  means no bonfire and helpful garbage collectors who will whisk our tree away to go on the municipal recycling heap.

 

So changes have come. It feels right. And I also know that things will continue to evolve - I am sure, for instance, that as my elder son moves through early adolescence he will get over his distaste for family rituals and come to appreciate what we do from real maturity instead of displaying the angst of being a 14 year old. So I know that we will revisit many things and bring them back into our family life, but in a new and renewed form. Next year, for instance, I plan to ask Daniel to put out the Nativity scene himself and perhaps to read some of the Christmas stories to the rest of us. This year would have been too early - next year - or the next - will probably be just right.

 

Wonderful Halloween

What a great Halloween we had in our family! What a wonderful festival - though unless one is a follower of Celtic traditions, I'm not sure 'festival' is the correct term. 'Excuse for fun' or 'evening out of the ordinary' might be more apt descriptions.

 

Why do I enjoy Halloween so thoroughly? Because it is the one night of the year that children can run around town, often unsupervised by adults, approaching strangers and receiving smiles and treats! How often does that happen in the life of the average Western child? Is there any other evening when bands of children - and teens - running around the streets elicits indulgent smiles and kind words from adults?!

 

What a wonderful thing for a child to be able, in trust, to knock on the door of someone she does not know and know that she will get some small treat, a few words about her costume, perhaps, and generally enjoy the wonderful feeling created by adults who care enough about to children to take the time, the effort and the money to decorate their homes, to dress up themselves perhaps - to buy or make treats!

 

Ok - sure - there are horror stories, there are always those unfortunate souls who prey upon children or who put up little signs declaring "no trick-or-treaters" (and who might have a good reason for this). And there is the sickly amounts of sugar that the children stuff down themselves. But it seems to me that such risks are worth it - that the price of fear of Halloween is a mistrust in the world and in the unknown - and, unfortunately, not the unknown ghoul but the unknown human being. As for the candy - for sure there are children who cannot, for health reasons, eat pounds of Snickers bars and tootsie rolls - but nowadays many people give out stickers or healthy alternatives.

 

Having said that, as a parent of boys blessed by an abundance of hearty health, an orgy of sugar does not trouble me. I am so pleased by their experience of the kindness of strangers, of whole neighborhoods being decorated to please the children, of free explorations in the dark - that I don't care if they over-do it. They get over it. And what they are left with is a positive picture of adults welcoming children in a warm and positive way. To me that's worth a few tummy aches!

 

Fall Festivals

I love this time of year. I love the bright blue skies, the vibrant shades of red, gold and orange on the trees. I love the warm sun on my face and the cold wind - the frosts in the morning which leave the summer plants in sad, damp heaps and the comforting afternoon sun which warms the last of the seasons' butterflies. I am blessed to live in Wisconsin, where the Fall is (almost!) as beautiful as it is in my native New York.

 

As the days shorten and the dark seems to gather strength, I find I often have to dig deep within to find the resolve to get out of my cozy bed in the morning, to create the soul warmth in my home in the shortening days and to overcome the gloom that can easily overwhelm one as the light gives way to the dark. Thankfully, I can turn to Michael and to Martin for inspiration and guidance as I seek to  shore up my own inner resolve and journey into the darkness.

 

These special festivals speak deeply to me and have been an important part of my family life since my sons were quite small. Michaelmas and Martinmas  are celebrated in most Waldorf schools in the US and in Britain and there is a wealth of resources available for those who wish to celebrate these festivals at home. On the song page of the kindergarten part of the Christopherus web site there is a lovely Martinmas song which is great for little ones through about 2nd or 3rd grade. All the Waldorf festival books have a wealth of activities, crafts, songs and stories for these festivals - those of you who have my first grade syllabus have a very nice Martinmas story in it.

 

What are these festivals about? Well, the essence of Michaelmas  (29 September) is about a great hero, about the Archangel Michael (three syllables, Mik- A- ael or who is like God) who subdues, but most crucially, does not destroy, the dragon, thus leaving the possibility of redemption. Martin, a warrior, a killer in the pay of the Roman army, has a vision of the Christ after sharing his cloak with a beggar, thus saving the man's life. The Christ reminds Martin that wheresoever goes the least of His children, so too goes the Christ. Upon hearing this, Martin rejects the soldier's path and instead becomes a man of peace. Martin is celebrated on 11 November, Armistice Day.

 

Those who are not Christian can find alternative ways of working with these festivals if they so choose. Michaelmas is often celebrated as a harvest festival, when one gives thanks for the rich bounty that springs from the dark earth. Martinmas can be marked as a Lantern festival, with a procession in the dark of children and adults singing softly and carrying lit lanterns. A coat drive for the homeless is also an appropriate activity for this time of year.

 

However you choose to mark this time of year, may you find the inner light that will sustain you and your family as you journey together into the darkest time of year.

 

January Activities

This article first appeared in the Homeschool Journey newsletter, January 2004

January can be a depressing month for many homeschoolers. Panic and guilt lurk just around the corner as well realize that the children have done no math since Thanksgiving, that the last Main Lesson book is still hanging around unfinished and that list of vocabulary words has yet to see the light of day... Beware - burn-out is approaching! Be brave! Call it by name, face it down and relax. Say the following to yourself 10 times out loud: “My children will learn, they are learning all the time”.

The weather - mud and rain or ice and snow - can be extremely unhelpful, and instead of making home seem warm and inviting, makes it seem like a cage. The mall, McDonalds, the TV and video, all seem to call alluringly to us...

Put it all together and it can seem overwhelming. Either we feel like just chucking it all in and watching cruddy videos with the children all day or we start the day by announcing we have lots to catch up on and there’ll be no time to play for the next month at least! Not good choices!
Maybe the thing to do is to let go a little, have a day or two of relaxed fun and, in the odd peaceful moment, check in with yourself and reaffirm why you started this crazy homeschool thing in the first place. Remind yourself of all the good things that have happened and acknowledge, but gracefully let go of, all the not so great things.

Here is a list of activities to keep you sane without resorting to the TV or the mall. Do a few of these things to get you through your crisis and then, once you’re feeling a bit more together, get back to that school work:

1. Get some big pieces of paper and masking-tape it to a whole wall. Get the crayons out and make a mural. If you want this activity to last more than 10 minutes, you’ll need to form it: start by telling a story, perhaps of a long journey, and sketch in the mountains or woods or a path...and let the children take it from there - if they’re old enough. Otherwise, draw with them. Other themes could be: how Grandma and Grandpa came to this country; scenes from past family outings; Noah’s Ark; gnomes underground and fairies above ground.
2. Get out every blanket you own and rearrange the furniture into one huge maze of tents and tunnels.
3. Read a favorite fairy tale, make figures out of clay or beeswax, and act out the story. The Three Billy Goats Gruff is a good one: improvise with a blue cloth for the river and blocks or pieces of wood for the bridge. If you do the Three Little Pigs you can have fun building the pigs’ houses.
4. Spend the day preparing a meal from another land. Get music from the library, make a menu, learn how to say please and thank you in the appropriate language(s). Children can decorate the table with flags of the country.
5. Dig out photos from when Mommy and Daddy were young and spend the afternoon giggling about them.
6. Read a book of pirate stories together (the Barefoot Book of Pirates is a good one) and learn some sailors’ shanties (Rise Up Singing is an excellent resource).
7. Get some special window paint (Hearthsong - www.hearthsong.com - carries some) and decorate all the windows and mirrors in your house.
8. Learn to play cards - Snap, Old Maid, War and Go Fish! are good ones. Rummy is great for older children as is solitaire. Lucky 13: Solitaire Games for Kids by Michael Street is a great resource.
9. Take out some of the children’s board games and help them change the rules and figure out different ways to play.
10. Put all the mattresses, bedding, cushions and sleeping bags you have into one huge, safe pile and let your children roll, scream, bounce and scramble. Follow with a quiet activity like a story.
11. Let the children take off all their clothes and cover themselves and their siblings with face paint. Finish with a big family bubble bath.
12. Curl up on the sofa with cups of cocoa and just read, read, read a really good book and forget about everything else. (Check out the list of great read-aloud books on our website: www.christopherushomeschool.org/great_read-alouds.htm )

Non-Commercial Christmas

This article first appeared in the Homeschool Journey newsletter, December 2003

Advent in America... hmmm... not much awaiting of the Light in our local Wal-Mart or in the orgy of holiday specials advertised on TV. It’s such an assault on the senses and sensibilities at this time of year, whether one is trying wade through holiday catalogs to get at one’s mail or cringing along with the Christmas muzak at the mall or simply trying to find out what’s happening in the news between the exhortations to shop, shop, shop! It reminds me sadly of the messages hurled from the White House in the aftermath of 9/11 - it’s OK, folks, come out of your homes - and please go shopping!

Is this what we want for our children? Do we want them to grow up with the message that shopping = fulfillment? That the health of this country is measured by how much we buy?

In our family we do very little shopping for Christmas. We try to focus less on ‘buying’ and more on ‘making’. Since my boys were very little, some of our favorite Advent/Christmas activities have been things like “what shall we make for Daddy?” and “let’s make some Christmas cookies for our neighbors”. Hand-dipped candles, cards made with tissue paper and glitter glue, various crafts such as soap-making and bead-looms have all been popular in our household. The result has been, I feel, a healthy emphasis on ‘giving’ at Christmas rather than ‘getting’.

Another thing that we do that helps strengthen this emphasis on giving is to open presents in a very orderly way. There’s no mad rush-grab-and-lunge scene on Christmas morning. Instead, we gather as a family and take turns opening presents, taking as much enjoyment from others receiving their gifts as in receiving our own. There have been some truly special moments during our gift-opening, times when our boys argued not about opening their own presents but about who was going to give Granny hers!

Every family can find ways to strengthen the spiritual messages of grace during the holidays: Jewish families, for instance, might give a gift to others for each night of Chanukah. Service projects, such as singing at a nursing home or donating food or gifts to a homeless shelter are possibilities. Families who celebrate a holiday such as Kwanzaa are in a wonderful position to remember and honor the values of their tradition by working with a different named quality on each of the seven days of the festival.

For those who celebrate Christmas, another possibility is to save a gift for Epiphany, January 6th. Known also as Three Kings’ Day, some Christian traditions, such as the Eastern Orthodox Church, celebrate this day as the birth of Jesus rather than December 25th (Rudolf Steiner, the founder of Waldorf education, gave an explanation as to how there could be two different days for the birth of Jesus... but we won’t go into that now!). We can work with these two different dates - which frame the traditional Twelve Days of Christmas - by attuning to the shift in mood from that of the Shepherds who came on Christmas morn, to that of the Kings, the wise men of Zoroaster.

Many of us try to work deeply with the special spiritual qualities that are available to all people during the Twelve Holy Nights. Those of us who work on the land often take time to walk meditatively on that piece of Earth of which we are stewards, reflecting on its needs. Others pay particular attention to dreams, knowing that the doors to the spiritual world are open a bit wider during this time and that insights can be had which can be of great relevance to the year ahead.

As a friend recently said, we can perhaps think it is a good thing that in America, at least, “Christmas” is generally regarded as a season which finishes on December 25th. With the hubbub of commercialism over and done with, those of us who are actually trying to work with the spiritual reality of this festival can find the peaceful stillness to hear the angels sing.